Graduate
School Personal Statement Secrets
EssayEdge.com contains thousands of pages of free admissions essay
advice by Harvard-educated editors.
The best way to approach your
personal statement for graduate school is to imagine that you have five
minutes with someone from the admissions committee. How would you go about
making the best case for yourself while holding the listener's interest?
What would you include and omit in your story? Figuring out the answer to
these questions is critical to successfully preparing an effective
statement.
To arrive at these answers,
you should begin by asking yourself two specific questions:
-
Why have I chosen to
attend graduate school this specific field, and why did I choose to
apply to this particular school's program?
-
What are my qualifications
for admission?
The answers will not
necessarily come easily to you, but this exercise will have great
practical benefit in readying you to write an outstanding personal
statement. By answering each question thoroughly, you will have given much
thought to yourself, your experiences, and your goals, thereby laying the
groundwork for formulating an interesting and persuasive presentation of
your own personal story.
As the founder of
EssayEdge.com, the Net's largest admissions essay prep company, I have
seen firsthand the difference a well-written application essay can make.
Through its free online admissions essay help course and 300
Harvard-educated editors, EssayEdge.com helps tens of thousands of student
each year improve their essays and gain admission to graduate schools
ranging from Harvard to State U.
Having personally edited over
2,000 admissions essays myself for EssayEdge.com, I have written this
article to help you avoid the most common essay flaws. If you remember
nothing else about this article, remember this: Be Interesting. Be
Concise.
Why Graduate School?
Graduate school is a serious
commitment, and it may have been your goal for a long time. Describing
your early exposure to a field can offer effective insight into your core
objectives. Watch out, however, that you do not your point in such a clichéd,
prepackaged way as to make your reader cringe. For example, you should not
start your essay, "I have always wanted to…." or "I have
always known that _______ was my calling." Instead, you should
discuss specific events that led to your interest in the field.
Graduate school is, of course,
a means to an end, and admissions committees prefer students who know
where they're going and to what use they'll put their education (though
the occasional soul-searcher, who may exhibit exceptional raw potential,
is welcomed). For many people, the long-term goal is to work in academia,
and to differentiate yourself in such cases, you can stress more specific
objectives such as your research interests.
Note: Read the instructions
carefully. Sometimes schools will ask for a statement of purpose
describing your specific research interests in lieu of, or in addition to,
a personal statement that emphasizes your character and qualities. For
these types of essays, you can assume that a faculty member will be
reading your statement, but it should still be accessible enough for a
non-specialist to understand. Remember that such essays should also still
aim to engage the reader in a way that conveys your own enthusiasm for the
subject matter.
Avoid mistakes like discussing
the school's rank or prestige, or simply offering generic praise. Instead,
mention faculty members by name and indicate some knowledge of their work.
Consider contacting faculty members first and discussing their current
research projects and your interest in studying under them. Then refer to
these contacts in your essay.
Why Am I Qualified?
The way to prove your
qualification is not to list attributes you believe you possess but to
discuss concrete experiences that show your abilities and qualities. As
always, details are paramount. The rest of your application has already
summarized your accomplishments and your activities. Show the reader what
you did in concrete terms, and again, highlight your active roles.
The experiences that
demonstrate your qualification are not necessarily distinct from those
that explain your motivation. You shouldn't plan on dividing the essay
into two separate sections for each, but rather organize the structure by
topic and extrapolate insights as they develop. It's important that you
think of the essay as an integrated whole, not as a checklist of questions
you must answer.
Focus on research experience,
since research will be your main job for the duration of your studies. Be
specific about what you did. If you worked for a year under a professor,
you might consider emphasizing one particular project and exploring that
in depth. The experience does not have to have been a major undertaking:
Any practical experience can be used as long as you demonstrate your
enthusiasm and aptitude for the field of study.
Remember to keep the
discussion personal. Do not get bogged down in minute details and jargon.
Ultimately, the focus of the story should remain on you and your growth or
success.
TOP 10 GRADUATE SCHOOL ESSAY WRITING TIPS
1. Don't Write a Term
Paper.
As a prospective graduate student, you may be tempted to try to impress
your reader with an already tight grasp of academic style. Resist this
temptation! You will have plenty of time to produce labyrinthine sentences
and sophisticated vocabulary. Your reader will have seen too many essays
to appreciate bewilderingly advanced prose. Write clearly and personably.
2. Don't Bore the
Reader. Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and they must often
skim. Abstract rumination has no place in an application essay. Admissions
officers aren't looking for a new way to view the world; they're looking
for a new way to view you, the applicant. The best way to grip your reader
is to begin the essay with a captivating snapshot. Notice how the blunt,
jarring "after" sentence creates intrigue and keeps the reader's
interest.
Before: I am a
compilation of many years of experiences gained from overcoming the
relentless struggles of life.
After: I was six years old, the eldest of six children in the
Bronx, when my father was murdered.
3. Do Use Personal
Detail. Show, Don't Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal detail. They
do not merely assert "I learned my lesson" or that "these
lessons are useful both on and off the field." They show it through
personal detail. "Show, don't tell" means that if you want to
relate a personal quality, do so through your experiences without merely
asserting it.
Before: If
it were not for a strong support system which instilled into me strong
family values and morals, I would not be where I am today.
After: Although my grandmother and I didn't have a car or running
water, we still lived far more comfortably than did the other families I
knew. I learned an important lesson: My grandmother made the most of
what little she had, and she was known and respected for her generosity.
Even at that age, I recognized the value she placed on maximizing her
resources and helping those around her.
The first example is vague and
could have been written by anybody. But the second sentence evokes a vivid
image of something that actually happened, placing the reader in the
experience of the applicant.
4. Do Be Concise. Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also confuses the
important ideas you're trying to convey. Short sentences are more forceful
because they are direct and to the point. Certain phrases, such as
"the fact that," are usually unnecessary. Notice how the revised
version focuses on active verbs rather than forms of "to be" and
adverbs and adjectives.
Before: My
recognition of the fact that the book was finally finished was a deeply
satisfying moment that will forever linger in my memory.
After: Completing the book at last gave me an enduring sense of
fulfillment.
5. Do Address Your
Weaknesses. Don't Dwell on Them.
The personal statement may be your only opportunity to explain
deficiencies in your application, and you should take advantage of it. Be
sure to explain them adequately: "I partied too much to do well on
tests" will not help your application. The best tactic is to spin the
negatives into positives by stressing your attempts to improve; for
example, mention your poor first-quarter grades briefly, then describe
what you did to bring them up.
6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths mixed within any
given paragraph. Also, remember that transition is not limited to words
like nevertheless, furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from
the natural thought progression of your argument.
Before: I
started playing piano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn
difficult pieces. I began to love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the age of eight. As I
learned to play more difficult pieces, my appreciation for music
deepened.
7. Do Use Active
Voice Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the subject receives
the action expressed in the verb. Passive voice employs a form of the word
to be, such as was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose seem
flat and uninteresting.
Before: The
lessons that have prepared me for my graduate studies were taught to me
by my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that will prove invaluable as
I pursue my research interests.
8. Do Seek Multiple
Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in mind:
-
Does my essay have one
central theme?
-
Does my introduction
engage the reader? Does my conclusion provide closure?
-
Do my introduction and
conclusion avoid summary?
-
Do I use concrete
experiences as supporting details?
-
Have I used active-voice
verbs wherever possible?
-
Is my sentence structure
varied, or do I use all long or short sentences?
-
Are there any clichés,
such as "cutting-edge" or "learned my lesson"?
-
Do I use transitions
appropriately?
-
What about the essay is
memorable?
-
What's the worst part of
the essay?
-
What parts of the essay
need elaboration or are unclear?
-
What parts of the essay do
not support my main argument?
-
Is every single sentence
crucial to the essay? This must be the case.
-
What does the essay reveal
about my personality?
9. Don't Wander. Do
Stay Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the personal statement into a complete
autobiography. Not surprisingly, they find it difficult to pack so much
information into such a short essay, and their essays end up sounding more
like a list of experiences than a coherent, well-organized thought. Make
sure that every sentence in your essay exists solely to support one
central theme.
10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut, cut, and cut some
more. EssayEdge.com's free admissions essay help course and
Harvard-educated editors will be invaluable as you polish your essay to
perfection. The EssayEdge.com free help course guides you through the
entire essay-writing process, from brainstorming worksheets and
question-specific strategies for the twelve most common essay topics to a
description of ten introduction types and editing checklists.
SAMPLE ESSAY
I have been planning a career in geological sciences for several years,
but as an undergraduate I concentrated on getting a solid background in
math and science. After graduation, I took a job to allow myself time to
thoroughly think through my plans and to expose myself to a variety of
work situations. This strategy has been very valuable to me in rounding
out my career plans.
During the past 18 months I
have had firsthand experience with computers in a wide array of business
applications. This has stimulated me to think about ways in which
computers could be used for scientific research. One idea that
particularly fascinates me is mathematical modeling of natural systems,
and I think those kinds of techniques could be put to good use in
geological science. I have always enjoyed and been strong in areas that
require logical, analytical thought, and I am anxious to combine my
interest in earth science with my knowledge of, and aptitude for,
computer-related work. There are several specific areas that I have
already studied that I think would lend themselves to research based on
computing techniques, including mineral phase relations in igneous
petrology and several topics in structural geology.
I have had both lecture/lab
and field courses in structural geology, as well as a short module dealing
with plate tectonics, and I am very interested in the whole area. I would
like to explore structural geology and tectonics further at the graduate
level. I am also interested in learning more about geophysics. I plan to
focus on all these areas in graduate school while at the same time
continuing to build up my overall knowledge of geology.
My ultimate academic goal is
to earn a Ph.D., but enrolling first in a master's program will enable me
to explore my various interests and make a more informed decision about
which specific discipline I will want to study in depth. As far as
long-term plans, I hope to get a position at a university or other
institution where I can indulge my primary impulse, which is to be
involved in scientific research, and also try my hand at teaching.
My decision to focus on math
and science as an undergraduate and to explore the computer industry after
college has equipped me with a unique set of strengths to offer this
program. The depth of my interest in geology has only grown in my time
away from academia, and although I have identified several possible areas
of specialization through prior studies, I look forward to contributing my
fresh perspective on all subjects.